Helper monkey for seamstresses?

[msmcknittington]

I hate cutting things out. I've been trying to cut out the paper pattern for the New Look dress I'm making all day. There are only eight pieces to cut out, and I have three left. I'm averaging less than one piece an hour. I'm so easily distracted. Whenever I have a pattern to cut out, it's suddenly very important that I clip my fingernails or clean the bathroom. Anything but sitting down with a pair of scissors and a sheet of tissue paper.

It's going to take like three hours of sewing tops for this thing, but like three times as long just to buckle down long enough to cut out the pieces. I hate pinning the tissue down. I hate cutting all the notches and curves and marking the darts and stuff. (OK, I only have two stitches lines to mark on this project, which is such a relief.) I hate cutting carefully, so I don't slip under the pattern and lop off the seam allowance.

What I really need is some sort of trained monkey to cut out all the patterns and fabric for me. Does anyone know where I can find one?

Seriously, if there was a business that charged a reasonable amount to cut out patterns and fabric, I'd grab that offer. I could never be a cutter in theatre -- I'd go crazy by the end of the first day. I'd have to be a stitcher or like the person who cleans lint out of the machines. (Have I ever mentioned how much I love cleaning my machine? I suddenly change into a neat freak. I get out the vacuum and use a can of compressed air to make sure it's really clean.)

The end result will be worth it. Obscene brown and yellow dress with red buttons and topstitching, here I come.

Comments

[ciorstan.livejournal.com]

I would rather run a snake through the sewer clean-out line in the backyard than cut out fabric, and I just had new meansurements taken for a new effigy-style corset taken for me.

That reminds me, the washing machine is backing up in to our kitchen sink when it drains...

[msmcknittington.livejournal.com]

I think I've found the thing that would make want to cut things out: dealing with raw sewage. Unfortunately, given my track record, I'd probably develop a burning interest in sewer lines given the right amount of cutting out.

Good luck with the washing machine!

[ciorstan.livejournal.com]

Oh, where's your spirit of adventure? *snrk*

The sudden absence of Alien Invader No. 1 and its Love Child has left me a with -4 off my waistline, even though I'm still a bit puffy. Go me!

So far, the backings-up are merely annoying, rather than catastrophic.

[msmcknittington.livejournal.com]

If only you could market your weight-loss program to the public. Get rid of a growth, lose 4 to 10 inches from your waist!

Our washing machine has started randomly leaking all over the floor on the rinse cycle. We've taken the cover off it and checked all the hoses and connections, and there's no reason it should be doing that. It's just a present every now and then.

I hope the sewage doesn't show up in your house. Ew.

[ciorstan.livejournal.com]

Well...

So far it's just a little grey water in the kitchen sink. Whee! The washing machine and the blockage is 'downstream' from the sink, hence the backfill.

Tomorrow I get to go over to Home Despot and buy myself a cheap snake-- but it's going to be cleaned with alcohol, painted with two coats of Rustoleum and cut up into corset bones...

I love my Dremel tool.