Dear non-friended friends . . .

I have about five people who have friended me but I have not friended back because I do not recognize your names! I friends-lock the vast majority of my posts, so it appears that I post maybe twice a month. (I'm probably underestimating this.) I dunno, there was a Russian invasion a couple months ago and I went into Cold War lockdown. I have no idea why. It made me paranoid. I bought canned goods and built a bunker.

So, friends who are unfriended, namely fireflykiwi, kegzilla, lirianna, trinawaidler and voske, tell me about yourselves. How did you find my journal? Why did you friend me? I have no state secrets, just so you know. And my finger certainly isn't on the pulse of America's youth.

(Friended friends, you don't have to do this. I know I'm on your friends lists because I smell delicately of raspberries and cool green grass and my lyricism makes grown men weep tears of profound sorrow and joy, all at once -- an admixture of poignant proportions.)

(I can hear you guys laughing from here. It's OK. I have that effect on people. *patpat*)